Happy new year friends. Today I would like to talk about choices.  More specifically terrible, self destructive choices.

Today I spent a whopping $36 getting my nails done. I spent about 15 minutes choosing a color and then another 40 while waiting for the 23 year old nurse in training with a fake tan and glue on eyelashes as she told the manicurist that she was still drunk. At 4 pm. On a Monday. And this woman is going to be in control of people's medical treatment. There has to be some protection against this in Obamacare, right? RIGHT?!

Anyway, so I finally settle on a vibrant peach, because neither mint green nor lilac seemed professional enough for my super professional-professional life. As I'm sitting there I think to myself, "self, this is $30 that should have gone to your oil change." Which is about 2000 miles overdue. And yet I've deemed my peach fingernails more important. So tomorrow, when my car dies and I miss court, I can feel polished when I call AAA and the Court. Poor choice.

So then I got to thinking about the other choices that I made this week:

Figure out student loan deferment or research local nail salons? 

Poor choice.

Return client's first call or call ex boyfriend?
Poor choice.

Return client's second call or call ex boyfriend?
Poor choice.

Return client's text message or call ex boyfriend?
Seriously, Samuels. Pull your fucking life together.

Put together file for the morning or go to nail appointment?
Depends on whether you think the Judge will be more impressed with my organization or flashy hands. You all know which side I erred on.

Maintain some shred of dignity or text ex boyfriend?
You see how this (being my life) fell to pieces.

Now this bout of introspection had me hearkening back to my diet.  I think the beauty is the utter lack of choice. Because clearly I cannot be trusted to make good choices. (The list goes on, watch 2 full seasons of Downton Abbey, or get out of bed today, buy food or shoes, etc...) I mean, I look at my dinner options and it's scrambled eggs or poached eggs? Broccoli or Brussels sprouts?

What I haven't disclosed re: my diet is that I lost 7 inches as of a month and a half ago, at which point all progress stopped. BUT, I maintain said diet, because this is what I know: bad choices breed bad choices. So without Tim Ferris to stop me, it would be more like: text ex boyfriend, eat 28 cookies, call mom and cry.

And so, my friends, I have decided that in 2013 I am going to try to give myself fewer opportunities to make terrible choices. And stop calling my ex like an asshole.

Happy new year everyone. And put down the phone/cookie and do the right thing.